Going On The Account: ‘Tis The Season? Really…?

About a month ago, this disturbed me…

 

I tried to ignore it, tried to laugh it off, because it’s just commerce run amok.  You can’t blame desperate people acting idiotic if they’re afraid they won’t meet their projections, unless they do something idiotic.

And compared to other acts of idiocy lately, this was pretty benign…

But it’s not just these folks now; I wandered into a Macy’s* the other day and saw that their Christmas display was going on full bore.

While I was wearing short sleeves because it was so warm.  Many miles north of the Mason-Dixon Line, too…

And at that point,  snapped.  I babbled, I gurgled, and then I tried to come up with words…

That soon got set to music; in order to deal with the trauma, I turned yet again to the Dark Art of Filking, and came up with this:

(Sung to the tune of “The Carol Of The Bells”)

Oh no not now

Oh really? Wow!

No no not yet

Can we not get

A chance to breathe                       /                              Not…   now…

Go away leave                                  /                              Not…   now…

It’s just too soon                              /                              Not…   now…

Go ‘way you goon                           /                              Not…   now…

 

You say Noel                                      /                              Not…   now…

I say Aw Hell                                       /                              Not…   now…

Till Halloween                                    /                              Not…   now…

I’m not so keen                                                /                              Not…   now…

I’d say no way                                   /                              Not…   now…

‘Till Turkey Day                                  /                              Not…   now…

Just let me be                                    /                              Not…   now…

It’s too early                                       /                              Not…   now…
You put away

That Christmas sleigh

Don’t want to see

Holly- ivy

Let the time race                              /                              Not…   time…

At normal pace                                 /                              Don’t do it now, don’t do it now …

 

I really hate                                        /                              Don’t do it now, don’t do it now …

That you can’t wait                          /                              Don’t do it now …

I really wish                                        /                              Don’t do it now …

That you don’t dis                            /                              Don’t do it now …

I’ll make it clear                                 /                              No-no-no- no-no-not time yet

Not yet this year                              /                              No-no-no- no-no-not time yet

I do not want Christmas now

I do not want Christmas now

 

You make me ill

Won’t you just chill

This is so messed

Give it a rest

You make me ill

Won’t you just chill

This is so messed

Give it a rest

 

 

You say Noel                                      /                              Not…   now…

I say Aw Hell                                       /                              Not…   now…

Till Halloween                                    /                              Not…   now…

I’m not so keen                                                /                              Not…   now…

I’d say no way                                   /                              Not…   now…

‘Till Turkey Day                                  /                              Not…   now…

Just let me be                                    /                              Not…   now…

It’s too early                                       /                              Not…   now…
You put away

That Christmas sleigh

Don’t want to see

Holly- ivy

Let the time race                              /                              Not…   time…

At normal pace                                 /                              Don’t do it now, don’t do it now …

 

I really hate                                        /                              Don’t do it now, don’t do it now …

That you can’t wait                          /                              Don’t do it now …

I really wish                                        /                              Don’t do it now …

That you don’t dis                            /                              Don’t do it now …

I’ll make it clear                                 /                              No-no-no- no-no-not time yet

Not yet this year                              /                              No-no-no- no-no-not time yet

I do not want Christmas now

I do not want Christmas now

 

You make me ill

Won’t you just chill

This is so messed

Give it a rest

 

Not Christmas yet…
No….

 

And for those looking for the tune, I’m offering this:

 

Okay, Irving Berlin it ain’t, but silence wasn’t going to serve anyone either…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

*The fact that I’m amazed that there’s enough branches of Macy’s out there to just wander into one (thanks a lot, Federated), and no one else I know thinks twice about it, is just hitting me how long I’ve wandered the surface of the earth; thoughts along those lines belong in January, so that’s also being vigorously pushed aside…

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Going On The Account: ‘Tis The Season? Really…?

  1. Great lyrics – exactly how I feel about the whole thing. When the kids were little, I would have nightmares, beginning in August, about Christmas day arriving and I’d forgotten to buy gifts for everyone, or bought more for one kid than the other. I’d wake up in such a panic! The hype that starts before Thanksgiving (and keep in mind, our Thanksgiving is a month before yours!) reminds me of that panicked feeling. I hate it! Glad I’m not the only one! 🙂

  2. Thanks for the reminder, Susan; I almost always lose track of the Canadian Day of Thanks, and wanted to wish you and everyone else North of the 49h a happy one on the 14th this year.

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