Arrrr! And it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day today, it be!
And once again, ye land-lubbers can be pretending to be going on the account, yellin’ to the wenches and sirs, “Avast! Prepare to be boarded!” as ye be taking liberties with them, blaming it all on the grog the whole time. Arrrr, ye almost be making Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick’s Day look respectable by comparison…
Aye, yes, it be me, the Jonah to the buzz of the day, jabbin’ on about what we can learn from pirates, asking again to have us think about pirates, not just be using them as cheap excuses to get drunk. If ye be meaning to get all ye sheets full into the wind, ye can get drunk to toasting your local postman, which may not be the most glamorous reasons to hoist a few, but it’s an excuse for a drink, right…?
Arrr, so I be drinkin’ with me small crew portside and not be doing no learnin’ to ye the way I be hoping to each year, unless ye picked up me tome, The Pirates of New York, which be free for the seizing today. And if ye missed getting yer hands on this booty because ye be looking for other booty elsewhere (and no, she’s not into ye at all, so stop staring at her, matey…), she be yours for a mere twelve bits.
As for me wanting to teach ye, I get me chance a few days off…
Arrr! Let me be parroting here the write up about me talk to the City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism, SEMETIC SEADOGS! Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean, that I be giving on October 4th:
The story of an unlikely group of swashbuckling Jews who ransacked the high seas!
They had boats with names like the Prophet Samuel, Queen Esther, and Shield of Abraham. They attacked and plundered the Spanish fleet while forming alliances with other European powers to ensure the safety of Jews living in hiding. Their tales are filled with attractive and repellant personalities, including a warrior rabbi, a shady arms dealer, and loathsome Spanish inquisitors. Learn not only about the Jews who practiced the Sweet Trade, but how many of them got away with it!
So aye, I be offering me knowledge about pirates close on the day after all. The notes I took in bringing Samuel de Cadiz to life, that be the basis of me talk that night.
And I promise you, it will not be entirely in pirate argot like this post; fun as that might be, I’ve got an audience to think of here…
So here be where the parley be, if ye be in the port of New York that night:
City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism
October 4th, 2013
14th Street Y
344 East 14th Street (near corner of 1st Avenue)
New York, NY 10009
Arrr, if ye be willin’ to see me keel haul meself before an audience, and ye have a need to see something different for free on a Friday, then this be your course to chart, aye…