Going On The Account: Some You Win, and Some You Don’t…

And as we get to the end of the year, we find a few folks going on the account, one doing it way better than the other…


I had the pleasure of seeing THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN (and yes, the link provided can take you to a site devoted to the books as well as the film; don’t worry, the books are worth looking at too…) where they had something for the old salty dog in us.  There are spoilers after this point, as well as writing that could only have come from someone spoiled to the point where he is in danger of becoming an enfant terrible


As part of the film, there is a recollection had by one of the characters concerning an ancestor of his that had captained an SOL with two gun decks and three masts, which it turns out is a major plot element  that plays out in the present.  Said ancestor and ship, it turns out , had themselves an encounter with a pirate using a sloop to make a fast raid upon her.


The resulting conflict has to be one of the better swashbuckling scenes set at sea seen in a while.  It even beats the pantaloons off anything seen in the other big pirate movie released this year.  There was a lot to recommend the sequence, and about the only thing to test credulity was having the masts of the two vessels getting entangled during a storm, which compared to some of the wild WTF coming out of the other series seemed like a NatGeo special in terms of acceptability.  About the only thing missing was a Hans Zimmer score; hey, we all have our favorites from every franchise, right…?



Which made up nicely from the other member of the Brethren of the Coast I got introduced to over the holiday, when my nephew asked to view DISNEY’S JAKE AND THE NEVERLAND PIRATES on the tube.  Which in and of itself is not all that offensive; sure, we could use another show of this ilk now that Dora the Explorer is all grown up and all (or at least her first audience is these days…), but my issue is with one of Jake’s crew:  Izzy.


Why would I have an issue with her, you ask?  Not because she’s a female pirate; if you don’t know where my interests lie these days, you probably hit this URL through a random linkage with something else…  No, it’s because in the episodes I watched when I was around my nephew and a few afterwards it, it seems Izzy has one principal role with the crew, as Holder of the Fairy Dust.


Which means she basically stands around and is on standby to give them an airlift out of there.  No actual fighting alongside the boys, who admittedly don’t pull out their wooden cutlasses all that much, no getting her hands as dirty as the rest of the crew (both of them), no nada.  What is she, a pilot in Heinlein’s STARSHIP TROOPERS? Consider this: the only other female pirate out there this year was played by Penelope Cruz, who before she was a pirate was also in the film BLOW as someone who held dust that could make you fly that wasn’t given to her by pixies…


Which I’m sure was an honest mistake that no one over there even considered before now, but still…



So all said, going into the New Year with some good to point to, and some not so good to eye warily from across the room.  And with things essentially on an even keel in real life with the seizure of the MT Enrico Iveoli off Somalia, it looks like we’re going to keep seeing pirates everywhere we turn…

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Filed under Fiction, Pirates

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