Going on the Account: Off the Port Bow: A News Round-Up

* Word hit the wires about the RV Rim fighting off a pirate gang trying to seize her.  Of particular interest in the piece is the statistic that attacks are down by over a third compared with last year; considering how crews are fighting back, we may be seeing bigger declines soon…

* So there was a news story about Ashton Kutcher pirating his own movie hitting the wires yesterday.

Putting aside the whole question of whether it was an act of piracy versus a semi-clever marketing campaign, and whether a big star sending the Jolly Roger up the pole just encourages more kids to bring camcorders into the theater, there’s the further question of whether Kutcher makes a good pirate in the first place…

Let’s be frank, not everyone going on the Sweet Trade makes a good run of it.  Walter Matthau in PIRATES, Robert Urich in THE ICE PIRATES, Christopher Atkins in THE PIRATE MOVIE, and Robert Shaw in SWASHBUCKLER are all good examples of those being chosen as captains who might have better served their crews be demurring.

Somehow, I can’t see Ashton Kutcher making a run of it as a buccaneer.  This may well be his only time seizing and boarding right here; by punking us all on “pirating” his movie, he seizes ink and electrons and promotes his film at the expense of my time and energy.

Which probably makes him a pretty decent pirate on some level…

* Speaking of going on the wrong account, the folks responsible for Pirate Bay have expanded into the matchmaking business with their new site, Pirate Date.

Um…   yeah, uh-huh…

* And as far as something funny amongst Brethren of the Coast wanna-bes, I found that YELLOWBEARD is now online and can be watched in its entirety at Hulu.com.   This may not be the best pirate film out there, but if nothing else it is the last project Marty Feldman worked on (literally).  If nothing else, it does have that going for it…


1 Comment

Filed under Pirates

One response to “Going on the Account: Off the Port Bow: A News Round-Up

  1. Further word on the Kutcher story: If you caught the “pirated” footage, you did so ahead of the film critics for whom no advance screenings of KILLERS were held. That’s as bad a sign as sighting the Flying Dutchman that the film’s doomed; at this point he should not worry about being cast as a pirate in his next film, as much as he should be about being cast in any film…

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