Going on the Account: Arrrrrr-gh!

Forgive the reflexive jolt to come…

 

As I pulled myself through my morning routine, I came across an ad for a book entitled OBAMA AND THE PIRATES.  I’m always interested in fiction about pirates that pops up out there (of course), so I went to take a look.

 

Probably should have waited until the first cup of coffee…

 

Now, I can accept wanting to cash in quickly on the story of the MV Maersk Alabama.  And there’s a good deal of fascination with President Obama, reminiscent of what Kennedy was greeted with early in his term.  So doing something like this is natural, and I can’t fault that.

 

But why oh why… 

* Did we have to have President Obama as an action figure yet again?  After seeing him in comics the last few months and going up against aliens and zombies, did we need him going presidente a mano with pirates?

* How come when someone discusses pirates, they have to represent them as they were 300 years ago, with cutlasses and muskets aboard sailing ships?  With all the grief caused pirate re-enactors by the Somalis (yes I keep referring back to this piece; it’s hard not to appreciate this account of romance-versus-reality), having this pop up in a book for the whole family (their words, not mine) can’t make any of them feel good about this.  And in addition to the historic jumble, the fact that most of the pirates in this tale don’t look like they were from Somalia or anywhere else in Africa, to put it delicately, isn’t doing anyone any favors…

* And did we need an art style that makes it so “for the kiddies-esque”?  (No it’s not a real phrase; too damn early for me to hunt for a thesaurus…)  Did we really need stylings that were too reminiscent of Hasbro’s Marvel Super Hero Squad, where features of adults get extended to make them look like a cartoon show character? 

 

I’m sorry, but really.  There’s only so much one can look at without the annoyance of it hitting you like hives crawling under the skin, so itchy that your first reaction is to claw the flesh away with your nails until the bloodied bones hang by tendons off your stumps…

 

Yes, I wrote a lot of horror earlier in my career.  I’m thinking of going back to it soon…

 

What’s needed is a dose of reality; at least I need it.  There’s a discussion of THE INVISIBLE HOOK (which I still need to get my hands on) that mentions attacks in the Horn of Africa this year have already surpassed 2008’s numbers.  And there’s a good recounting of currently (as of July 8th) held ships in the region with their status; 214 hostages that don’t need to be made to look like cartoon figures, thank you…

 

That’s it; tomorrow I sleep in…

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